“The grass is not greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.” I really like this quote. It’s human nature to complain, and not appreciate things until we lose them. When we complain, we are not living in the moment. Whatever situation you’re in, know what you have and make the most out of it. (Because you never know, things could get worse 😉No. Seriously, complaining just ends up dooming yourself and making you feel bad. Why would you to suffer even more?) When I was in the corporate world, I complained frequently about inefficiencies, ineptitudes, and bureaucracy. I intentionally founded curaJOY to be a mostly self-funded venture so that I can easily shape our reality, to change the male dominated workplace, prove that women can be mothers can successful professionals, fair and merit based incentive system rather than seniority and connections. It didn’t take months before I started missing those tedious SOPs, team members whom I previously thought were mediocre and my trusty executive assistants as I struggle to do everything myself, and that’s when I realized there’s no “perfect” company. There is only a working progress and constantly changing adjustment to achieve your goals.
Applying this spirit of change to parenthood, I see many dysfunctional families where parents abuse/neglect/traumatize their children, and those kids grow up without processing their experiences, mindlessly passing on the same patterns onto their children. Maybe your mom stood with a whip, forcing you to play the piano when you were young. When you became a parent, should also follow suit, and demand a strict piano practice schedule from your kids or vow to be polar opposite and completely eliminate that horrible experience of music practice?
It’s important to examine your past and clearly distinguish your emotions from the facts. Was it piano that you disliked? Was it your mom? Or was it just the way your mom asked you to practice? Examining your past requires you to distinguish facts from emotions, and the more you learn about yourself, the more you’re about the create the life you want.
As parents, we all want the best for our kids, protect them from harm and see joy on their faces, but parents don’t live forever and we always can’t be with our kids 24/7. But we can teach them values, positive thinking, resilience, how to stand up for themselves, love for learning, identify people who would make good friends. The greatest gift parents can give children are intangible and timeless.